“Don’t get ‘too big for your britches’.”
“You can’t have everything.”
“Get a job that’s good for girls because eventually you’ll have kids.”
Now I know it was said with the best of intentions, to keep me safe and to protect me from disappointment. But being the person I was at the time (yes, even at a young age I didn’t like being told what I could or couldn’t do), I set out to prove I was fearless and could have it all doing any job.
Outwardly I always made sure I was perceived as confident…. even though inwardly I was insecure and unsure.
I was determined to look my best and have the best relationship…. although I sacrificed myself.
And of course I worked as hard as I could to reach the upper levels of corporate hierarchy… which I wasn’t passionate about.
I was miserable. At that point I truly believed I couldn’t have it all. I thought I had to put on a brave face, settle for less and lost myself. And finally I got to breaking point where I felt I just couldn’t go on.
Instead I made drastic changes in my life and muddled around till I realised that I hadn’t decided what having it all really meant to ME. Rather I had chosen to prove to others I could ‘have it all’ based on their definition.
That’s when the real work truly started. Because I acknowledged I could have it all, but I had to be willing to work on myself. I had to work out who I was and what I wanted, something I had never previously considered.
What a journey it has been! I know my life experiences have made me the person I am today, still… sometimes it’s hard to remember even feeling the feelings I’ve described above. Particularly since I decided having it all meant I was going to live a life of full engagement, joy and confidence!
You can have it all, if you’re willing to work on yourself.
(And if you want some help to get started, let’s have a chat!)
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