The quickest way I know to Influence!

What’s the quickest way to build your influence? In my experience and what I have heard my mentor Blair Singer say is “the person with the highest energy wins”. But what exactly does that mean?

Whenever you are engaged with another person (or people) you are actually in an energy exchange.

For example, when I am interacting with my kids. I know (and I’m pretty sure they know) if they get me at a time when I’m distracted or tired or basically ‘mentally absent’ they can usually get me to agree to much more than usual!?! In other words when their energy is high and mine is low they ‘win’ the interaction.

Now I don’t necessarily want to ‘win’ every interaction in a competitive sense, but what I do want to do is establish a positive exchange that benefits both parties… “Think win-win”.

So what I find is when I am present I can more easily create a positive energy exchange with the other person (or people) and develop rapport quickly. This rapport then allows us to find a solution that all parties are comfortable with and that I’ve ultimately influenced.

What does being present mean?

I’ve found it’s easier to describe ‘presence’ by understanding what it is not. Being present means:
• you’re NOT distracted
• you’re NOT checked out
• you’re NOT half-engaged
• you’re NOT half playing at half speed, and
• you’re NOT only half interested

Being present is the opposite of this, it’s the opposite to being absent.

In my experience most people actually find it far easier to be absent. For example, we convince ourselves we are so busy and can multi-task that we sit in meetings thinking about all the other items on our list of things to-do. We delude ourselves into thinking we are being efficient but in actual fact we are losing out on the opportunity to build more influence.

You guarantee you won’t be able to influence another person (or people) effectively by going into the situation not fully present. So the solution? Check your level of energy before going into any interaction, remind yourself to be and stay present and play full out.

The more often we practice being present, the better we will get at it and ultimately the more influence we will have in every interaction – this is the path to high performance*.

* High Performance is the result of heightened and sustained levels of: clarity, energy, courage, productivity and influence. www.highperformanceinstitute.com

Do you feel you have strong influencing skills? If so, what makes you good at it, and where can you apply it more to improve your life? If not, what causes you to believe you are not good at it ? What might you do to improve?

Take the High Performance Quiz to find out more.