In a previous article, I reflected on Aristotle’s wisdom about happiness, which still resonates centuries later. It made me think about my journey to understanding what true happiness really means and how many of us are often caught up in a cycle of chasing the wrong kind of happiness.
Remember those fleeting moments of joy we get from a quick online shopping spree or the dopamine hit from another episode of our favourite TV show? That’s what the ancient Greeks would call hedonia. But is this the type of happiness we should be striving for? Or is there something more, something deeper that leads to a sense of lasting fulfillment?
Aristotle proposed two types of happiness: hedonic and eudaimonic. Today, we’re going to compare both, and I’ll share how I’ve learned to strike a balance between them, finding a sense of purpose and joy in a world that often feels like it’s designed to pull us off course.
The Hedonic Treadmill: A Roller Coaster of Instant Gratification
Hedonic happiness is that exhilarating, short-lived high you get from indulging in life’s little pleasures. It’s the thrill of buying a new pair of shoes, the joy of eating your favourite dessert, or that sense of accomplishment from ticking off a few items on your to-do list. It’s fun, it’s pleasurable, and let’s be honest, it’s addictive.
But here’s the kicker: it doesn’t last. It’s like chasing after bubbles; the moment you grasp one, it pops. You’re left needing another to keep the joy going. We’ve all been on this hedonic treadmill, running faster and faster but getting nowhere. I’ve been there, too—searching for happiness in all the wrong places, be it through career milestones, social accolades, or even the perfect bite (yes, I’m guilty of that one!).
The trouble with hedonic happiness is that it’s often followed by a crash, leaving us wanting more but never feeling fully satisfied. It’s like trying to fill a bottomless pit; no matter how much you pour in, it’s never enough. It’s not that hedonic pleasures are bad—they’re necessary, like sprinkles on a cupcake. But relying solely on them for happiness is like trying to live on sprinkles alone; sweet for a while, but ultimately unsatisfying and not at all nourishing.
Eudaimonia: The Path to Purpose and Fulfillment
Eudaimonic happiness, on the other hand, is a whole different ball game. Aristotle believed this was the key to a fulfilled life, where happiness stems from living in alignment with our values and striving toward a higher purpose. It’s about finding meaning in what we do, even if it’s not always pleasurable in the moment.
Think of it like training for climbing a mountain. The daily grind of hiking, the early mornings, the sore muscles—it’s not exactly fun. But when you reach that peak, you’re not just happy; you’re fulfilled. That’s eudaimonic happiness. It’s less about the quick hit and more about the slow burn.
I remember when I was juggling a high-pressure corporate job, raising a family, and trying to figure out who I was amidst all of that. I was the textbook definition of “successful” by societal standards, but internally, I felt empty. It wasn’t until I started aligning my life with my core values—like growth, connection, and contribution—that I began to experience a deeper sense of joy. It was a process of peeling back the layers, shedding the expectations others had placed on me, and discovering what truly mattered to me.
Finding Your Personal Happiness Balance
So, how do you find your balance between these two types of happiness? It’s all about knowing when to indulge in life’s simple pleasures and when to focus on the bigger picture.
Here are some strategies that have worked for me:
- Identify Your Core Values: What do you stand for? What principles guide your decisions? When your actions are aligned with your values, you’re more likely to experience eudaimonic happiness. For me, this meant pursuing personal development and coaching, which align with my values of growth and contribution.
- Prioritise Meaningful Activities: Make time for what fills your soul, not just your schedule. Whether it’s volunteering, spending time with family, or working on a passion project, ensure your life isn’t just a series of tasks but a collection of meaningful experiences.
- Mindful Hedonism: Allow yourself to enjoy those little pleasures, but do so mindfully. Savour the chocolate, relish the laughter with friends, but don’t rely on them to fill your happiness tank. They’re there to enhance your journey, not define it.
- Reflect and Adjust: Take time to reflect on what brings you joy and fulfillment. Journaling can be a powerful tool for this. Look back at your week and assess: did you experience more hedonic or eudaimonic happiness? How did that balance make you feel?
- Embrace the Journey: Understand that finding this balance is a lifelong journey. You won’t always get it right, and that’s okay. It’s about progress, not perfection.
The Sweet Spot: Where Hedonia Meets Eudaimonia
The goal isn’t to choose one type of happiness over the other but to blend them in a way that creates a fulfilling life. Like a well-crafted recipe, you need the right mix of ingredients. Too much hedonia, and you might find yourself burnt out on fleeting joys. Too much eudaimonia, and you might miss out on the little things that make life delightful.
Think of it like dancing. You need both the upbeat, joyful moves and the slow, purposeful steps to create a beautiful routine. It’s the same with happiness. You need the excitement of the here-and-now pleasures, but also the grounding satisfaction of a life well-lived, aligned with your deeper values.
I’ve seen this balance play out in my coaching work, too. Many of the incredible women I work with come to me feeling stuck—not because they don’t have enough happiness, but because they have too much of one kind and not enough of the other. They’re either grinding away at long-term goals, sacrificing all joy in the present, or they’re caught in a cycle of quick fixes that leave them feeling unfulfilled.
Together, we work to find that sweet spot where they can enjoy the present while also working towards a meaningful future. It’s about finding the courage to pause, reflect, and then take action that aligns with who they truly are, not just who the world tells them they should be.
Crafting Your Unique Recipe for Happiness
At the end of the day, your happiness is uniquely yours to create. It’s like cooking a dish without a recipe—you have to taste, adjust, and try again until you get it just right. Aristotle might have laid the foundation, but only you can build the life that brings you joy and fulfillment.
So, take a moment today to think about your own happiness. Are you sprinting on the hedonic treadmill, or are you neglecting the small joys in pursuit of lofty goals? Wherever you find yourself, remember, it’s okay to recalibrate. After all, happiness isn’t a destination; it’s the way you choose to walk your path.
And remember, life’s too short not to enjoy a good piece of chocolate now and then, just as it’s too precious not to pursue the things that set your soul on fire. Here’s to finding that balance, one mindful step at a time.
Are you ready to find your happiness sweet spot? Let’s explore it together, and maybe share a few laughs (and chocolates) along the way.
If this has been useful for you I’d love you to share it with your friends or anyone else you think may find it useful.
Your Coach
Stephanie
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