Published in 2019 by Portfolio, No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work is an insightful book that reshapes how we perceive emotions in professional settings. In many workplaces—especially in male-dominated industries—emotions are often seen as a liability rather than an asset. But Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy challenge this notion, arguing that understanding and managing emotions effectively is key to thriving at work.
Through engaging storytelling, humorous illustrations, and research-backed insights, the authors provide a fresh perspective on emotional intelligence, helping readers harness their feelings rather than suppress them. This book is particularly valuable for professionals who struggle with work-life balance, impostor syndrome, or the pressure to maintain an unemotional facade at work.
About the Authors
- Liz Fosslien is an expert in designing emotionally intelligent workplaces. As a consultant and illustrator, she has helped organisations integrate behavioural science principles into workplace culture.
- Mollie West Duffy is an organisational designer with experience at firms like IDEO and Capital One. She specialises in leadership development, workplace strategy, and team dynamics.
Their combined expertise makes this book both insightful and relatable, blending academic research with real-world application.
Summary of No Hard Feelings
The book is structured around seven key areas where emotions impact our professional lives:
- Health – Managing stress and avoiding burnout.
- Motivation – Understanding what truly drives you.
- Decision-Making – Using emotions as data rather than ignoring them.
- Teamwork – Navigating interpersonal relationships at work.
- Communication – Expressing yourself clearly and constructively.
- Culture – Fostering an emotionally supportive workplace.
- Leadership – Leading with emotional intelligence.
Each section combines research, personal anecdotes, and actionable advice, making the book both engaging and practical.
Key Concepts and Strategies
One of the book’s core messages is that emotions at work shouldn’t be ignored—they should be understood and managed. Here are three key takeaways:
- “Emotions Are Data”
Instead of suppressing emotions, use them as information. If you feel anxious before a big presentation, your body might be signalling that you need more preparation. If you feel drained after meetings, it could be time to set stronger boundaries. - The Myth of “Unemotional” Leadership
Many professionals believe that success requires emotional detachment. But great leaders are emotionally aware—they acknowledge their own emotions and create a culture where others feel psychologically safe. - Managing Burnout
The authors provide actionable steps to prevent burnout, such as setting clear work-life boundaries, recognising signs of emotional exhaustion, and advocating for a healthier workplace culture.
Practical Applications
The book is filled with strategies for integrating emotional intelligence into daily work life. Here are a few actionable takeaways:
- Engagement: Recognise when you’re feeling demotivated and adjust your work approach—perhaps by delegating, seeking mentorship, or shifting focus to more meaningful projects.
- Confidence: Instead of trying to eliminate fear, Fosslien and Duffy suggest “naming the fear” and reframing it as excitement.
- Joy: Small rituals, like celebrating small wins or taking intentional breaks, can significantly improve emotional well-being at work.
Powerful Quotes from No Hard Feelings
- “You can’t control your emotions, but you can control how you react to them.”
- “The best workplaces aren’t the ones that eliminate emotions but the ones that support them.”
- “Feeling burned out doesn’t mean you’re weak—it means your workplace isn’t sustainable.”
Personal Insights from the Authors
Throughout the book, Liz Fosslien shares her personal experiences with burnout, perfectionism, and impostor syndrome. Her candid storytelling—combined with humour and relatable illustrations—makes these concepts easier to digest. For example, she recounts her struggle with overwork and the realisation that being busy isn’t the same as being productive.
Mollie West Duffy, on the other hand, shares insights from her work in organisational design, illustrating how small changes in workplace culture can have a big impact on emotional well-being.
Conclusion
No Hard Feelings is an invaluable read for professionals who want to succeed without sacrificing their well-being. It blends science, humour, and practical strategies to help readers manage emotions, improve communication, and lead with authenticity.
For anyone struggling with impostor feelings, burnout, or the pressure to suppress emotions at work, this book provides a refreshing, research-backed roadmap for embracing emotions as a strength rather than a weakness.
Would I recommend it? Absolutely—especially if you’re looking to cultivate more engagement, confidence, and joy in your professional life.
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