Believe it or not, being positive and optimistic might not always be the best choice.
If you’ve ever struggled with having a positive mindset 100% of the time you know what I mean. There are times when it’s best to have a more neutral approach.
Learning to navigate the ups and downs is one of the challenges of life. It can be easier to live with calmness, composure, and level-headedness.
Just because we’re capable of strong emotional responses doesn’t mean it’s a good idea all the time. I’m sure you’re capable of eating nothing but chocolate for a week, too!?!
The ancient Greek philosophy of Stoicism has become quite popular over the last few years. In a nutshell, a major component of Stoicism is the idea that people should be indifferent to their successes, failures, pleasure, and pain.
Here are some ideas to consider to remain calm, composed, and present.
Meditation is the perfect way to regularly practice being calm, composed, and focused. When you meditate, usually the first thing you notice is your mind’s random and restless nature. You may also feel physically and psychologically uncomfortable. Focusing on your breathing is key.
Watch TV shows and movies that elicit emotional responses and learn to view them objectively. Part of the reason TV and movies are so attractive is due to their ability to alter your emotions. That’s what these media are designed to do. This is a great way to practice being stoic. As you watch, constantly remind yourself that it’s only a movie. I like to refocus and see the “black border” around the screen which can help to keep emotional responses subdued.
Observe your thoughts and emotions with curiosity. Once we feel an emotion, our tendency is to focus on it and take an emotional ride – we can become “hijacked” by our emotions. Instead of magnifying your emotions, study them like a scientist would view them as signposts for your thoughts. Notice how your emotions change when your thoughts change.
Acknowledge reality, ask yourself, “What’s really happening?” Be practical, logical and objective. For example, if your pool pump dies, then you either need a new pump or the current one needs to be fixed. That’s it. All of the emotional gyrations have zero effect on the situation. They only make you less capable and miserable
Realise that nothing is permanent. The stock market, weather, good times, or bad times – none of them last. It only makes sense to avoid big emotional swings. Enjoy and be grateful for positive experiences, knowing that it’s not always like this. When you encounter tough times, keep in mind that these, too, will pass on and make way for good times again.
Understand your level of control i.e. how little control you have over the world and how much control you have over your decisions and direct actions. There’s not much you can do to change what’s going on around you. Other people are nearly impossible to control in any meaningful way. If it’s going to rain, it’s going to rain. Why get emotional if it doesn’t help? Focusing on the things we can control like our attitude and behaviour, what we read, what we buy, how we live, what we listen to, what skills we learn, where we travel, what we do for work leaves us feeling more emotionally stable.
Negative and positive experiences and emotions can both be advantageous and disadvantageous. Clinging too tightly to past events can inhibit further growth and success. It’s hard to move forward when you’re stuck in the past.
Worrying too much about the future can suck the life and motivation out of you and can also inhibit progress. With a neutral mind, neither positive nor negative experiences have an adverse impact on you. Each day is another day to make progress and move forward.
Having a neutral mind isn’t about approaching life like a robot, completely devoid of emotion. It’s about tempering your emotional responses and learning to be emotionally okay with any outcome which can be an effective way to continue to make progress in life. You’re not thrown off by either positive or negative experiences. You go with the flow, but you avoid a flood, and you’re able to keep going and moving toward your goals.
If this has been useful for you, I’d love for you to share it with your friends or anyone else you think may find it useful.
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