Ignite Your SPARK – Step #4 Rebound with Resilience

Unfortunately this post has taken me a little longer to get out, but in some ways has been a real live example of Rebound with Resilience, the fourth out of the 5 steps to Ignite Your SPARK. No stranger to setbacks, I have had a few to start off the first half of this year.  Challenges with my eldest daughters’ living and schooling arrangements and health issues which had me utilizing hospital services (a rarity for me). In addition to moving country and leaving the corporate world and an organization I’d been with more than 20 years. I don’t tell you this to gain sympathy and I certainly know other people who have and are facing far worse. But I do tell you this as I finally write this post that I had to ‘practice’ rebounding with resilience. There is a multitude of research on resilience. I recently read an article from the Harvard Business Review regarding the link between resilience and rest. But over the years my understanding and perspective on resilience has changed. Once upon a time I believed resilience meant “keeping your chin up, a smile on your face and persevering at all costs” no matter the situation or circumstance. However in recent times I have come to understand that resilience isn’t just showing a brave face, but rather being brave enough to truly allow yourself to feel the depth of emotion that a situation or circumstance may generate. For example, earlier in the year when my eldest daughters’ living and schooling arrangements needed to be altered quickly I felt a range of emotions. Fear for her, despair at the situation, anger at the parties involved and the list goes on. Instead of bottling those emotions up, or tamping them down, I gave myself the space to really experience them through conversation with one of my coaches Jayne Johnson. It reminded me again how blessed I am with the strength of empathy which allows me not only to feel for others but also truly feel and take ownership for my own emotions. But that’s not where resilience ends (or else it wouldn’t be resilience would it?… it would just be whatever emotion you were experiencing). Resilience starts with identifying, owning and allowing yourself to experience the emotion AND then working through the emotion to come out the other side. My perspective of resilience now sees there’s nothing wrong with a fit of despair so long as you pull yourself out of the pit of despair! Even if you need/ask for help, the mere act of getting yourself out of the pit and then moving beyond that circumstance or situation is what real resilience is in my mind. So the next time something happens that really has you feeling low – make it okay to feel what you feel. Exercise some self-care and self-compassion. And when you feel ready, take the next step and breathe. Just like I was taught on Mt Kilimanjaro, all you have to focus on to get to the top of (and back down) the mountain is pressure step – left foot, right foot, breathe. Just keep moving forward. And remember… your experiences shape you, they don’t deflate you. Take the High Performance Quiz to find out more and if you have any thoughts or input about this post be sure to like it and please leave your comments below. I’d love to connect with you about Igniting Your SPARK and your own journey. Ignite Your SPARK – Step #1 Unleash Your Spirit Ignite Your SPARK – Step #2 Power Your Performance Ignite Your SPARK – Step #3 Act with Authenticity Ignite Your SPARK – Step #5 Hone Your Knowledge