There’s a lot of truth to the quote, “We have met the enemy, and s/he is us.”
We get in our own way far more than life, other people, or bad luck sabotage our success. We really can be our own worst enemy.
It boggles the mind why we stand in our own way, but we do. Understanding that fact is half the battle to overcoming it!
Here are a few techniques to experiment with to stop sabotaging yourself:
1. Learn from the past and leave it there.
Mistakes from the past don’t mean that you’re doomed to failure in the future. The past should be used as educational material, not as a predictor of the future. Learn from your experience, leave your past in the past and create the future you desire.
2. Avoid talking to yourself unless you’re going to say something nice.
When you spend too much time saying negative things to yourself, eventually, you begin to believe them. Such negative input gives you an incorrect opinion of yourself and your capabilities. Ensure that any of your self-talk is supportive and positive.
3. Notice your habits that sabotage your success.
Think about what you want to be successful at and notice the habits that stand in your way. For example, if you want to lose weight, but you eat a bag of chips every time you’re stressed, that habit is sabotaging your success. (Yep, that’s one of mine!)
Try to observe those habits that sabotage your success and make a list of them. Write down all the ways in which those habits inhibit your success. What is the cost of each of those habits? Being aware of the damage these habits cause can make it easier to eliminate or change them.
4. Define your fear.
Most self-sabotage is rooted in fear. What exactly are you afraid of? Are you afraid of embarrassing yourself? Are you afraid of finding out that you’re not capable? Are you afraid of success? Are you afraid of how people will view you?
Identify the basic fear that is causing you to sabotage yourself. Understand the fear and if needed get help to get over your fear or remove it, otherwise, you’ll continue to get in your own way.
5. Know your ceiling.
Notice how far you can go before you begin sabotaging yourself. For example, perhaps you’re stuck at a particular income level. What income level do you get stuck at? If you’re trying to lose weight, at what point do you begin sabotaging yourself? We all have a ceiling for each part of our lives. Understand yours and seek to understand why.
I’ve just recently read Gay Hendricks book, “The Big Leap” and in it, he notes that the glass ceiling you are operating under is held in place by a single problem – a barrier you don’t know you have.
So, do the work to uncover what your barrier is.
6. Identify your beliefs.
What are the beliefs that stand in your way? For example, do you believe that you’re naturally a chubby person that can never get below a certain weight? Do you believe that you can never be a successful writer because you failed high school English?
Identify your beliefs related to the part of your life you want to be more successful in. Which of those beliefs are obstacles to your success?
7. Notice the people that you feel are in your way.
Sometimes, we allow people into our lives that don’t really want the best for us. Identify the few people who are truly interested in seeing you live up to your full potential.
Avoid believing that it’s acceptable to allow someone to get in your way. If they choose to be an obstacle, consider minimising their involvement in your life.
As I’ve mentioned before, the good news is that you have total control of yourself. So don’t waste effort trying to control others or circumstances outside of yourself.
Since you are the source of your challenges, you also have the power to eliminate them. Never underestimate how much you’re standing in your own way!
If you’d like to have a chat about whether I can help you with this, comment chat below.
Remember, you can unleash your unique version of success!
I have had (and still do have) so many people supporting me on my journey of self-development, I’d love to help you on yours. Whenever you’re ready, here are a few ways I can support you:
Join our IYS Community – to connect with like-minded individuals focused on increasing their ENGAGEMENT, CONFIDENCE & JOY in work (and life)…
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Book a Chat – so we can breakthrough what you’re currently challenged with and take the next action towards living the life of your dreams!
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