At some point in your life, you’ve no doubt had to deal with a situation that was out of your control. Whether it’s a car accident, financial difficulties, pandemics, politics or other challenges, these events cause stress and frustration, which negatively impact your health and mental outlook on life.
Learning how to cope with events you can’t control will help keep you in a positive frame of mind and alleviate your stress.
We often discuss the Circle of Concern vs Circle of Control during my coaching sessions.
If we have a large circle of concern and a small circle of control a lot of time and energy is wasted reacting to issues that we can’t control.
If we have a small circle of concern and a large circle of control a lot of time and energy is focused on issues that are within our control.
Consider the Serenity Prayer, written by Reinhold Niebuhr:
“God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.”
The words of this prayer exemplify the solution to a problem that plagues all of us. Once you’ve come to terms with the fact that you can control only your own actions (and reactions), you can begin to find peace of mind.
What Can You Control?
Worrying about the people or events in your life that you can’t control can cause all kinds of stress-related health problems, such as angina, high blood pressure, and sleeping difficulties.
If you need to feel more in control of your life, focus on those things that you can physically change.
Who You Spend Time With
Who you decide to accept as your friends and spend your time with is something you can definitely control. It may not be easy to meet new friends, but the opportunities are plentiful if you look for them.
Being around negative people can drag your attitude down since we tend to default to the mood of people around us.
If you have people in your life who aren’t encouraging you to fulfil your potential, find other people to surround yourself with and maximise your time with them.
Having the support of people who believe in you will propel you toward reaching your lifelong goals.
Living One Day at a Time
When you intentionally consider each day a gift, your struggles don’t seem as dire. While life does present us with difficulties, such as death, divorce, and financial challenges, how you cope during these hardships will influence how you deal with subsequent challenges.
When you purposely feel gratitude for the good moments within each day, you can genuinely start to accept your struggles as a path to a new beginning.
Your Outlook and Character
If you control anything, make it how you look to the future and how you conduct yourself as a person. Optimistic people are happier across almost every area of life, and those who remain in integrity feel more satisfied with life too.
Consider these questions:
Lately, many of my thoughts have been (a) negative or (b) positive, because… ?
A situation that has been difficult for me lately has been… ? The way I could view that situation in a new light or with new positive perspective would be to remember that… ?
When I’m being my best self, I know it because I am… ?
Some new ways I can remind myself to be positive and my best self would be… ?
By accepting that you can’t change some things, you’ll become more powerful in changing the things that you do have control over. You’ll free yourself from the negative thoughts and emotions that can stifle you into complacence.
Experiment with these suggestions to help you cope with things out of your control, and I know you’ll find peace, joy, and the passion to persevere through all challenges.
If this has been useful for you, I’d love for you to share it with your friends or anyone else you think may find it useful.
Remember, you can unleash your unique version of success!
I have had (and still do have) so many people supporting me on my journey of self-development, I’d love to help you on yours. Whenever you’re ready, here are a few ways I can support you:
Join our IYS Community – to connect with like-minded individuals focused on increasing their ENGAGEMENT, CONFIDENCE & JOY in work (and life)
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Take the High Performance Questionnaire – to understand if you’re ready to go to the next level and live a life full of engagement, joy and confidence…
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