Have you ever truly asked if you can trust yourself?
How many times have you promised yourself you were going to save money, lose weight, or clean out the junk drawer in the kitchen?
Just like me, you’ve likely made thousands of promises to yourself and broken the majority of them!
This is something I encounter with my clients every day.
While watching TV, it can be as simple as saying, “I’m going to get started on my work at the next commercial…” yet the commercial comes and goes, and then you make a new deal with yourself.
BUT this has consequences. You’re teaching yourself that you don’t have to take yourself seriously. You’re teaching your subconscious that it’s okay to let yourself down.
Trusting and believing yourself is important. As I’ve previously mentioned, if you break trust with yourself, you risk feeling incongruent and ruining your confidence.
Try practising these 6 techniques to help you keep your promises to yourself and add integrity and congruence to every part of your life:
1. Use your past as a reference.
In the past, if you’ve promised yourself that you were going to lose 10kgs but came up short, it might be better to set a more reasonable goal. Losing 2kgs five times is the same as losing 10kgs all at once. Make reasonable promises to yourself.
2. Put your promises on paper.
Thoughts are a funny thing. They sort of feel real, but they sort of don’t. Something happens when we write thoughts down. It makes them more concrete. Keep your written promises where you can see them regularly. Review them a couple of times each day.
3. Ask yourself if you mean it and listen to the answer.
Down deep, you know if you’re really serious about your promises. After you make a promise to yourself, ask yourself if you really mean it. Listen to the answer you receive and respect it. If you’re not going to honour the promise you made to yourself, change it up.
4. Change your beliefs about promises to yourself.
Most of us are much better at keeping promises we make to others than we are at keeping promises we make to ourselves.
For example, if your boss gives you a deadline I bet you wouldn’t dream of not giving your everything to meet it. Yet if we promise to get something done at a certain time for ourselves, a lot of us give ourselves a “pass” if we don’t meet the deadline.
Some part of you may believe that it’s okay to let yourself down. If you believe that you matter as much as everyone else, this attitude won’t be acceptable to you.
5. Accept the discomfort that comes from fulfilling your promises.
Why don’t we keep a promise? Sometimes it’s only because keeping the promise is more uncomfortable than not keeping it. So, it stands to reason that if you were better at dealing with discomfort, you would keep more of your promises. When you’re feeling uncomfortable, be determined to work through it!
Avoiding discomfort or confronting it is a habit. Build the habit that will serve you the best. Dealing with discomfort is among the most valuable skills you can build, particularly as a high performer.
6. What would you think of someone that made promises to you and broke them regularly?
Would you date that person or consider them your friend for long?
You think less of yourself when you break a promise to yourself.
You can see this by considering how you would think about someone else doing the same to you. You wouldn’t think much of them. That’s what you’re subconsciously doing to your opinion of yourself.
And you may not even notice it, particularly if it’s happening every day.
Keeping promises to yourself is generally more important than keeping promises to others, yet we tend to approach life from the opposite perspective. The damage you do to your relationship with yourself affects every part of your life.
Treat yourself like you matter and respect the promises you make to yourself. The integrity and congruence you build with yourself will make you better at keeping all of the promises you make. It will expand your confidence in everything you do.
I’d love to hear your views, so please comment below with your thoughts.
Remember, you can unleash your unique version of success!
I have had (and still do have) so many people supporting me on my journey of self-development, I’d love to help you on yours. Whenever you’re ready, here are a few ways I can support you:
Join our IYS Community – to connect with like-minded individuals focused on increasing their ENGAGEMENT, CONFIDENCE & JOY in work (and life)
Access your FREE Online Training – and learn how you can immediately hit higher levels of performance and potential in all you do!
Take the High Performance Questionnaire – to understand if you’re ready to go to the next level and live a life full of engagement, joy and confidence…
Book a Chat – so we can breakthrough what you’re currently challenged with and take the next action towards living the life of your dreams!
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